Once you get the ball rolling in the divorce process, be prepared to encounter some challenges along the way. A qualified divorce lawyer will be able to help with the logistics, but you may also find the wisdom of Mr. Spock to be helpful during this trying time. After all, in the words of Spock, “change is the essential process of all existence.”
“May I Say That I Have Not Thoroughly Enjoyed Serving With Humans? I Find Their Illogic & Foolish Emotions A Constant Irritant”
Deal with the Emotional Aspect of Divorce:
One of the biggest challenges you’ll likely face throughout the divorce process is the battle over your emotions. After all, ending a relationship with somebody you once envisioned being with forever isn’t easy. As Spock says, “being a red-blooded human certainly has its disadvantages,” and the capacity to feel emotion is sometimes one of them.
If you’re having trouble dealing with the emotional aspect of your separation, consider seeking help from trusted family and friends or see a counselor. Avoid posting emotional rants on your social media page or sending your ex angry texts, as these could come back to bite you in court.
“Do You Know The Old Klingon Proverb That Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold? It Is Very Cold In Space”
Be Civil With Your Ex:
This is going to be a tough one if the divorce isn’t exactly amicable, but you need to do everything you can to be civil with your soon-to-be ex throughout the process. After all, the more peaceful and agreeable you are, the more quickly you can get through the divorce and begin moving on with your life.
Some people find that it’s helpful to meet at a neutral location (such as a coffee shop or restaurant) to discuss specifics about the divorce. This way, both of you are less likely to raise your voice or create a scene.
“Insufficient Facts Always Invite Danger”
Document the Details in Writing:
Never rely on word-of-mouth or a verbal promise alone when it comes to anything related to your divorce. For example, if you and your spouse agree that you’ll keep the house but he or she later backs out of this agreement, you’ll want to have proof of the initial agreement in writing–especially if you end up seeking mediation or a decision from a judge over the matter.
The same goes for situations of child custody; if you plan on fighting for primary custody of your shared children, you’ll want to have precise documentation of any lack of financial support paid by your spouse, a list of times when he or she was late to pick your children up from school, etc.
“It Is Curious How Often You Humans Manage To Obtain That Which You Do Not Want”
Be Reasonable About Dividing Debts & Assets:
At some point in the divorce process, there’s going to come a point when you need to decide how your assets will be divided. During this time, it’s important to keep an open mind if you want the process to go as smoothly as possible.
A good way to start is to consult with your attorney and determine what you should already be entitled to by state law. From there, try to be as reasonable as possible when it comes to figuring out the rest. In other words, don’t spend thousands of dollars in court and attorney fees to fight over that $200 piece of furniture. It’s just not worth it. In the words of Spock, “it’s proving to be an inconvenience, but it’s manageable.” The same goes with giving up a few of your assets to ensure a smooth process.
“The Needs Of The Many Outweigh The Needs Of The Few”
Keep Your Children’s Best Interests at Heart:
When you and your soon-to-be ex have children together, things can become especially complicated. However, what’s most important is that you keep your children’s best interests at heart throughout the entire process.
For starters, be fair when it comes to visitation and custody. As long as your ex is a fit parent, there’s no reason you should try to deprive him or her from spending time with your child (who will benefit from having two loving parents in his or her life). Furthermore, do your best to avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of your child.
“I Have Noted The Healthy Release Of Human Emotion Is Frequently Very Unhealthy For Those Closest To You”
Anticipate the Loss of Mutual Friends & Adjustment to Community
More than likely, you and your ex had a few mutual friends who will now be put in the awkward position of choosing between the two of you. Sadly, you might end up losing a few friends over the divorce, and that’s to be expected. It won’t be easy, but much like your marriage, some friendships simply aren’t meant to be.
At the end of the day, hopefully you’ll have at least a few true friends remaining–friends as loyal as Spock, who will reassure you that “you have been and shall always be my friend.”
“On My Planet, To Rest Is To Rest – To Cease Using Energy. To Me It Is Quite Illogical To Run Up & Down On Green Grass Using Energy Instead Of Saving It”
Take Care of Yourself & Reclaim Your Individuality:
One of the best things you can do for yourself throughout and following the divorce process is to regain your sense of being an individual. After having been with another person for so long, this can be easier said than done.
Start by accepting the fact that the marriage is over. From there, focus on the things that make you happy. This might be something as simple as setting aside more time to read each day or even something as major as taking up a new hobby or embarking on a career change.
“Captain I See No Reason To Sit Here & Be Insulted. Insults Are Effective Only Where Emotion Is Present”
Cut Any Unnecessary Ties with Your Ex:
To truly accomplish reclaiming your individuality, you’ll also need to do your best to cut those unhealthy ties of your old relationship. Try looking at your relationship with your ex as a purely professional one; you shouldn’t go out of your way to speak to your ex. If you do need to talk to him or her (perhaps about child care arrangements), do so in a manner that’s as succinct and to-the-point as possible.
“Vulcanians Do Not Speculate. I Speak From Pure Logic. If I Let Go Of A Hammer On A Planet With Positive Gravity, I Need Not See It Fall, To Know It Has In Fact Fallen”
Work With the Right Salt Lake City Divorce Attorney:
Finally, never underestimate the power of having the right divorce lawyer on your side. While Spock may have encouraged you to “trust yourself; you know more than you think you know,” the fact is that only a legal professional can help you get through certain aspects of the divorce with the utmost of ease. Not to mention, a great lawyer will not let high running emotions get in the way of what is legal and will keep you and your children’s best interests in mind.
Looking for the right lawyer for your Utah divorce case? Turn to The Law Office of David Pedrazas, PLLC for the guidance and expertise you need.